ONE FRUIT.

Two kindred spirits, moths to a flame
We burned out both ends
Guilt is not a simile
Nor a pseudonym for our love.

Born of religious fever
And fuelled by true desire
How can shame be real
If it feels as good as this.

Locked inside the travesty
That props up old and weak
Tortured by the pain I feel
The pain I feel for you.

Many promises are broken
But as he is my witness
And I know him very well
I will not desert the opening heart.

You, you stooped and opened arms
To bite the hand that’s feeding you.

Now gone is the longing deep within
I still burn my flame for you
Sensing the heart as only we know how
That’s the intuition we birds of a feather feel.

The memory smacks, it hurts like hell
Just like they always preached
I cannot deny something is missing
I never will be saved, nor do I care.

There is another that takes the place
Of entwined understanding sweet giggles
Even on the spirit itself
And that it will survive.

To see beyond the boundaries of parochial eyes
Enter knowledge to soak the skin
Gain the semblance of understanding
And live not to a whim.

We all need substance and you are real to me
Its not wrong to love another, another like yourself
For oranges are not the only fruit.

GRUM

When love seems like the only answer
And you feel that all is lost
There can be no time to count the cost
Its gone and that is final.

And nowhere does it ever run smooth
Nor is it silent or eternally deep
It makes a mess of true happiness
But it, must be.

How can it be that we have many loves
But love so few we get so upset
So many chances missed at that point
Where cursory glances change into stares.

And nowhere …

We let it happen more accident than chance
Place our faith in the pebbles theory
This only anticipates our unhappiness
When we find ourselves all alone.

We lay back and fantasise
Of what we feel we will always need
Pick the best and settle for less
Is what we, always, do.

And nowhere …

Fortune is cold when the lights go out
Picking up pieces from others ricochets
Falling in and out of wanting
But never, saying, die.

Missed opportunities bite so deep
Fall in depression just at the count
Forgot the feelings, no longer care
Just knowing that next time you
Gotta stop fantasising
And lay right down and give it a try.

And nowhere …

GRUM

TROUBADOUR

Shrouded in myth
The blogger refrains
From too many clues
Too much news.

Shaking their tree
They become you and me
Just figures distant
Reconciling experiences.

Want to write
Want to read
Getting their groove on
Weaving truths.

Shouldn

NOT A SECRET LOSER.

I’m not a so secret loser
Dragging all around me down
Not a secret loser, loser
Forced to make others pay with me.

Seeing is not believing
It don’t mean a thing
Although it appears to be
The loser is still the king.

I have not the energy
To deny what I must be
Cannot pretend it’s alright
That all the pain isn’t real.

I’m not a so secret loser …

No other sunny Monday morn
Destroy the hope when I was born
Lost the enthusiasm
To represent a life that breaths.

I’m not a so secret loser …

Now sad in dejection
Must raise my head to try again
And lose it like the last.

I’m not a so secret loser …

Never to know why
This path I had to tread
Cannot stop the rot
That seeps into my head.

And it is just another dead pan day
No horizon, no retreat
Dull and dark to symptomise
This feeling in my heart

And I am not a loser…

Trepidation left the home made for it
Out into the anguish
That lies inside my heart.

Criticism the knife that kills
Tear into my soul
Love the drug I need
To hold this soul together.

I’m not a so secret loser …

Thank god for legal lies
To fill my head with liquid dreams
Slow death no death just peace – at last.

GRUM

NEVERLAND.

Staring out of the window
Towards the darkened sky
Feeling all alone
Here in this cell of a room.

The cats fight in the street below
And you wonder who you are
Out of the rain into the cold
Light in your eyes, sounds in your head.

Off to never, neverland
Beyond the cares of today
Off to never, neverland
Freedom (calls to you).x2

Drifting out of body
Watching yourself sleep
Catching a ride to
Better feeling, safer ground.

And you hear the wind whisper
A name you thought was your own
Going nowhere fast, nowhere fast
Standing still, making waves.

Off to never, neverland
Beyond the cares of today
Off to never, neverland
Freedom (calls to you).x2

Light on the window on the wall
It’s getting small, getting late
Take the hand hold it tight
Give all the love tonight.

Took a leaf from a book
Turned it round, made it what you knew
Lesson to be learned
Here in your cell, your room.

Off to never, neverland
Beyond the cares of today
Off to never, neverland
Freedom (calls to you).x2

GRUM

THIS MADNESS.

Hit, feel the blow
Higher than the underhand
But lower than the belt.

Not quite what was expected
Though in the darkest fears
it was incarnate.

Oh help me, help me
To come to terms with this madness
Give me the sense to wonder
If I know I can be me.

The prophet stared at me
Told me there will be a madness
And laughed until I cried.

I screamed aloud to the wise one
He’d pay for the pain to come
But he was unpeturbed.

Oh help me, help me
To come to terms with this madness
Give me the sense to wonder
If I know I can be me.

Got no hold, the disperance is cold
Without sanity there can be no trial
So why the wait, let us go.

Doomed to fall into the line
Shouting name, no rank at all
Living this razors edge, who pays my call.
Oh help me, help me
To come to terms with this madness
Give me the sense to wonder
If I know I can be me.

Gone is the choice, where once was hope
The evil lives on and on
And I am its tool, too late to pray.

Don’t cry for me, the option I took
Learning to live is like
Knowing how it is to die.

Oh help me, help me
To come to terms with this madness
Give me the sense to wonder
If I know I can be me.

There is no escape, sold the soul for
Love of gold, drags us down …

GRUM

LOOSING IT.

No one sees me cry and no one hears my tears
They fall to silent applause
At last the years are peeled away
To realise the shadow of the mind behind.

Finally I cry for heaven knows what
And in that unknown I am saved
From myself, the hereditary malaise
In which we all deny our worth.

But telling me that you are me
Does nothing to staunch the flow
Knowing as I do I must go
Onward to your dreams come real.

Forcing the feelings Wanting what’s best
Aching within for a heaving chest
Dry are the eyes, now gone are the fears
How can that be when I’m still me?
Who are we now, who were we then
Why wont that feeling come again?

There’s a cold wind out tonight
And I am warm within
But why does that forsake me
When now I need it most.

I don’t want the comfort joy can bring
I don’t need the hatreds born of fear
Justly I want no machines to steal my dreams
So I cant remember, cant remember
The stars that came tonight.

See the light leaving its source
That’s how I perceive my work
Reaching out with my mind
Its hiding somewhere out there
What it was I used to have
And so to hold, create my leer
At all that has gone on.

GRUM

LOGIC.

Stand back, take a look at yourself
Human nature twisted to fit
Logic scrawled upon the blackboard
Luminescent in orange or green.

You see only what is real
No room for error
Man is the disjointed
Our servants feed us well.

But isn’t that the cop out
Leaving it up to cold
No hearted impulses
Boxed inside a single room.

So don’t tell me
You understand my fears
One two three that’s logical
But inside, that is real.

Now and forever is held
Facts to destroy what they built.

Say to you why is that
Because its always so
That’s no answer and no lie
So who’s to blame me or you.

Should the watcher be the persecuted
For she can perceive
Because its not written prior
Does it mean it never was?
Look, listen, this is the gold
Words, sentiments, feelings
Deep within not without
You cannot contain the thought.

Oh so you have the answer
Press this button see it rise
And 2+2=4 but they please do tell
Can the new god spell
Out the reasons why
After all what goes in
Can only come out.

GRUM

LOCKED IN.

I have seen the opening
Of a thousand hallowed halls
And I have touched the remnants
Of knowledge I’ll never hold
But from all of the faces
From all of the places
I have felt the rejection of old.

Now tight in dejection I lie
Like withered hand denied
There can be no salvation
Of the cause left long ago.

The token existence in which we relish
Can never disguise the reaches I cant
Though all is privation I had a dream one day ….

Yet sooner it ended the better for all
I cant climb the mountain for I don’t posses
The baggage that gives me the right.

Now far in the distance there is a cry
One for the ages and one for the rule
But none for the memory I have of you.

What was it like before the storm
Where the trees that now are torn
Upended and rootless they roam
Outcast and very last
But hardly alone.

So scoff, that’s alright, it matters not
There can be no return without fair
Trial by justice, trial by error
Always searching never to find.

That’s why the foundations
Built to last – have
Crumbled like the dust
Where is direction when trapped inside
Where is the solution when locked away
Who knows, who cares but I!

GRUM

LIFE ‘V’ LIFE.

There is an angel in a street
In a town not far from you
She stands alone so angelic
Yet she cries each and every day.

The signs on the wall tell her
(that) She should paint her lips
That in the end she is not
Her own woman all alone.

There is something in her eyes
That tells the struggles gone too far
Leaning against the post short of breath
She wretches fiercely in the morning stain (pain).

And the voice says “its all quite normal”
And the voice says “its all quite normal”
“Come see me again when I am sure
When the pressure bites into your heart”.

Sad and dejected by the parsimony
Scared that the gestation in only too real
She longs to die to be set free.

Did you see the posters, did you vote at all
What was the thought when you condemned
That angel oh to death, to a death never to return.

Well take a look at yourself and see
The pain, the hatred the misery
Look at the world tell what you perceive
The lost and the lonely all souls in trust
All a product of your one refrain.

Anti – the cry, life for us all
Not content with your own
Strike against those less fortunate
To spare them any way you know they will receive.

To be so callous, inflict that pain
Who are we to (totally) control their bodies
How can we claim to speak for a life
Not yet understanding, not receiving
Distant shame, humiliation
Is it all just a game to you or what you just believe?

GRUM